Post ng Tamad

Happy New Year, guys!

It's been a year since my last post, and I'm thinking about resuscitating this "secret blog" of mine. I suppose 2007 has been exceptional for me in the sense that I was able to become more at ease with my sexuality. More friends have come to know the real me, and I am seriously considering having "the talk" with my parents real soon.

For now, I leave you with a borrowed post from a friend. I'm pretty sure that a lot of you can relate to this "tragic" love story

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"Unrequited Love"

All I ever wanted was to have a simple life: a loving husband, a couple of obedient kids, a comfortable home, and perhaps a dog. Scratch that. I don't want a dog. Active pets make domestic life more difficult than it has to be. I will probably just get a goldfish. Yeah, a goldfish or two would be good.

My first obstacle is, of course, finding the right man. At a ripe age of 25, I've never had a boyfriend. NBSB kumbaga. No Boyfriend Since Birth. Don't get me wrong. I am fairly attractive and quite a catch if I may say so myself. 5'5" in height, 110 lbs in weight. College graduate from a reputable school, and the bread winner of my family. I literally have the proverbial "long hair." I've had my fair share of suitors, but never found any of them suitable for me. I'd never say this out loud, but some of them are EWWW. They just don't do it for me.

That is, until I found him. The one.

Actually, I already knew him for quite some time, but it was only when I became his direct subordinate that my feelings flared up. Kind, outgoing, encouraging. I was in love. And I did everything imaginable (for a dalagang pilipina, that is) to make sure that my feelings were reciprocated. I tripled my efforts at work just for him to notice me more. I befriended his friends (yeah, even those who came straight from hell) just to get closer to him. I introduced him to my own friends and family members. I even started wearing skirts and other girlie outfits.

From the start, my friends discouraged me from falling for this guy. It was obvious, they said. He's gay. What the hell was I thinking falling in love with a gay guy? I will only end up being hurt or used. Just take a good look at him and his mannerisms. Even his friends tease him publicly, for crying out loud.

At first, I didn't listen. I didn't want to believe. I love him, how can he be gay? He looks so manly, how can he be gay? He used to have a girlfriend, how can he be gay? But all evidences appear to point to one conclusion: he may, indeed, be playing for the wrong team.

As I was convinced of his true orientation, my concept of reality began to alter. I tried to rationalize my feelings by telling myself that sex and intimacy do not really matter. What I am after is companionship and love. True love knows no boundaries, and a little thing like sexual attraction should not stand in the way of two people in love.

I wept. But I'm still hopeful. I need to have him. He is my only chance at happiness. It is a fight that I am not willing to give up.

The woes of unrequited love.

-- from http://buybuymo.multiply.com/journal/item/146