The war of chocolates

Which is sweeter? Which is better?

Ferrero or Cadbury?

“Life is like a box of chocolates”

You will never know what you’re going to have unless you open it and try one of the chocolates.

He grabs the box, opens it, sees a Golden wrapped chocolate ball, it never fails to stand out amidst the variety of chocolate balls in the box.

A Ferrero Rocher is probably one of the most favorite chocolate of girls and boys alike, a chocolate ball wrapped in gold, its very tempting, very SEDUCTIVE, very rare, you will never find a chocolate other than Ferrero, the chocolate is sweet, makes you wonder where it came from, makes you think how such a chocolate exist, its too good to be true. One bite is not enough, it is so ADDICTIVE that you want more.

He grabs again another Ferrero ball in the box.

He enjoys eating a Ferrero, a Ferrero gives everything, he wants you to be HAPPY, he gives you LOVE and quality TIME that you’ve always complained about your past relationships. He gives you what he thinks is BEST for you. He gives you the right ATTENTION. He TICKLES your inner senses. He gives you his LIFE.

You eat a Ferrero and slowly taste the sweetness in your mouth, you wouldn’t swallow it unless you think it’s the right time. A Ferrero NEVER COMPLAINS, take me as I am, even if it’s my life, but Ferreros do die, after eating what’s next? There’s nothing left for a Ferrero, a golden wrapper in your hand, what do you do?

You flatten it, you see there were bits of chocolate left, you slowly lick them, a Ferrero leaves you traces, a Ferrero NEVER LEAVES YOU, he NEVER HANGS YOU IN MISERY, he always wanted closure, he makes sure that you’ll ask for more but what do you do after licking it.

You slowly crumple and throw it in the bin. Ferreros never complain, we never rant about it. We just took it as a sign, MAYBE WE DESERVE SOMEONE BETTER, MAYBE WE THOUGHT ITS YOU, BUT I GUESS NOT, we’re just a chocolate, WE’RE NOT GREAT LIKE WHAT WE THINK WE ARE. Sometimes when it comes to love, Ferreros are STUPID.

But you just can’t get enough of Ferrero, you open the box again, you see there is just one Ferrero left, but then you see another chocolate, the Cadbury. You decided to try it out, after all a FORGIVING and UNDERSTANDABLE Ferrero wouldn’t mind right? Trying out a different chocolate gives you VARIETY and SPICE IN YOUR LIFE. You have always been ADVENTUROUS and a Ferrero loved you for that. Even if you’re afraid of COMMITMENT, I have loved you for that. But even with all that effort you still decided to leave the Ferrero alone or maybe leave the last piece of him for now, Are you saving the best for last? I don’t know! Maybe you can tell me.

Cadbury comes in different forms, sometimes with raisin, sometimes with almonds and sometimes even both, the Cadbury comes in a plain bar but its FULL OF SURPRISES, it has always been, you feel like your 17 and then you stop and think, maybe a Ferrero at 23 is too old for you, a Cadbury bar is BIGGER AND TALLER, a Ferrero is a small ball, its not enough for your appetite. A Ferrero is never enough for you. A Cadbury bar also gives you everything, every bar has a surprise, sometimes you feel some raisins in it, its give you sweetness, it gives you that feeling that you want more and you just cant get enough, sometimes its just plain chocolate, I don’t know for certain what does it mean, but for some its like a DULL moment. and being a Ferrero lover myself, I definitely agree. But like a Ferrero, it gives you everything, he makes sure you always come back; he makes sure you will never look for another chocolate again.


I guess the Cadbury doesn’t know that there is a single Ferrero ball left in the box. It wasn’t his fault, YOU NEVER TOLD HIM, he’s too FAR to see how a Ferrero looks like. IF ONLY HE KNEW, he will never let you eat him, he will give you a bitter taste you’ll never imagine a chocolate can be capable of, Who knows what you’re going to do with the last Ferrero ball? Will you come back and love the chocolate again? Will you let him stay there until you finish the rest of the Cadbury? A REBOUND CHOCOLATE? Did you left him there to make him stay while you enjoy the other and come back to him when you get tired, SELFISH? I don’t know! Having the best of both worlds? YES!

Is the Ferrero waiting for you? I don’t know! Come what may, A Ferrero will never give you up, but a Ferrero will always be a chocolate, Chocolates are meant to be eaten. I hope that when you realize its time for another Ferrero experience. I hope ITS NOT TOO LATE, I hope it’s still there waiting for you and YOU BETTER HOPE that NO ONE hasn’t discovered your chocolate box and CHASED HIM AWAY. Because LEAVING ME HANGING THERE IS LIKE GIVING ME AWAY.

Post ng Tamad

Happy New Year, guys!

It's been a year since my last post, and I'm thinking about resuscitating this "secret blog" of mine. I suppose 2007 has been exceptional for me in the sense that I was able to become more at ease with my sexuality. More friends have come to know the real me, and I am seriously considering having "the talk" with my parents real soon.

For now, I leave you with a borrowed post from a friend. I'm pretty sure that a lot of you can relate to this "tragic" love story

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"Unrequited Love"

All I ever wanted was to have a simple life: a loving husband, a couple of obedient kids, a comfortable home, and perhaps a dog. Scratch that. I don't want a dog. Active pets make domestic life more difficult than it has to be. I will probably just get a goldfish. Yeah, a goldfish or two would be good.

My first obstacle is, of course, finding the right man. At a ripe age of 25, I've never had a boyfriend. NBSB kumbaga. No Boyfriend Since Birth. Don't get me wrong. I am fairly attractive and quite a catch if I may say so myself. 5'5" in height, 110 lbs in weight. College graduate from a reputable school, and the bread winner of my family. I literally have the proverbial "long hair." I've had my fair share of suitors, but never found any of them suitable for me. I'd never say this out loud, but some of them are EWWW. They just don't do it for me.

That is, until I found him. The one.

Actually, I already knew him for quite some time, but it was only when I became his direct subordinate that my feelings flared up. Kind, outgoing, encouraging. I was in love. And I did everything imaginable (for a dalagang pilipina, that is) to make sure that my feelings were reciprocated. I tripled my efforts at work just for him to notice me more. I befriended his friends (yeah, even those who came straight from hell) just to get closer to him. I introduced him to my own friends and family members. I even started wearing skirts and other girlie outfits.

From the start, my friends discouraged me from falling for this guy. It was obvious, they said. He's gay. What the hell was I thinking falling in love with a gay guy? I will only end up being hurt or used. Just take a good look at him and his mannerisms. Even his friends tease him publicly, for crying out loud.

At first, I didn't listen. I didn't want to believe. I love him, how can he be gay? He looks so manly, how can he be gay? He used to have a girlfriend, how can he be gay? But all evidences appear to point to one conclusion: he may, indeed, be playing for the wrong team.

As I was convinced of his true orientation, my concept of reality began to alter. I tried to rationalize my feelings by telling myself that sex and intimacy do not really matter. What I am after is companionship and love. True love knows no boundaries, and a little thing like sexual attraction should not stand in the way of two people in love.

I wept. But I'm still hopeful. I need to have him. He is my only chance at happiness. It is a fight that I am not willing to give up.

The woes of unrequited love.

-- from http://buybuymo.multiply.com/journal/item/146

Thanks for sharing and making 2007 the year for UNITED! We have a long way to go and to all who have posted, again, I thank you. :-)

Ang Titi.

Titi ang tawag sa organ ng mga lalake. Iniiwasan mabigkas dahel ito ay bastos sa ating wika. Bastos dahel yun ang turo nang matatanda. Nakakahiyang sabihin. Immoral marineg ang salitang, Titi.

"Magtakip ka nang tenga, bastos yang saletang yan!"

"Oh my gosh, your so gross."

"Masusunog ka sa impyerno, manyak ka!"

Yan ang maririnig mo pag may nagbigkas ng saletang, Titi.

"Titi. Titi. Titi. Magsawa ka sa saletang ito. Hindi ako bastos. Hindi ako immoral." tugon ng Titi.

Titi.

Balik tayo sa salitang, Titi. Sanay na ba kayo marinig ang salitang, Titi? Hindi ba kayo nababagabag marinig ang salitang, Titi? Nababastusan pa ba kayo? Oo, mainitin ulo ko. Dahel hinde niyo ako iniintinde. May sarile akong pag-iisip. Liwas sa pag-iisep ng tao. Ako ang batas. Gagawen ko nais ko. At wala akong pinipiling tao. Magagalet ako kelan ko gustuhen. Maglalabas ako ng sama ng loob kahet ika'y mahimbing na natutulog. Wala kang magagawa kunde tanggapin kong anu ako.

Samakutuwid, nasagi sa isipan ko, mas makapangyarihan nga ang, Titi, kesa tao. May sarili itong utak. May sariling damdamin. May sariling nais. Nais na lagpas pa sa naiisip mong gawin. Nais na hinde mo kayang isipen. Isang misteryo. Isang palaisipang mahirap basagin.

"Kung yan ang katwiran mo, anung aspekto meron ka at tinagurian kang bastos?" tanong ng Mangmang

"Hinde ko alam." sagot ng Titi.

"Ipaliwanag mo sakin ang itsura mo." usisa ng Mangmang

"Iba-iba. Hinde ko man nakikilala ang ibang, Titi, alam kong iba-iba kami ng itsura. Gaya ng tao, kami'y natatangi. May malalaki. May maliliit. May tuwid. May baliko. May mataba. May payat. May balat. May binalatan. May Maputi. May Pink. May Brown. May Dark Brown. May Super Dark Brown. Sa amoy, may amoy rosas. Amoy Singkamas. Amoy bagong ligo. Walang amoy. Amoy tambutso. Amoy Kabayo."

"Nakakatawa ka naman pala eh! Di ka dapat tawaging bastos. Payaso pwede pa." hirit ng Mangmang

"Wala kang galang. Hinde mo lang ako tinawag na bastos, sinabihan mo pang katatatawanan ang, Titi. Hinde ba, minsan kayo ang lumuluhod sa amin. Kayo ang nag-aalaga sa amin. Kayo ang nagpapaligo sa amin. Sinusuyo niyo lang kami sa oras ng inyong pangangailangan. Pero masahol pala tingen niyo samen."

"Hinde ka lang nakakatawa, balat sibuyas ka pa. Pikon!" pangungutya ng Mangmang

"Sinong di mapipikon. Madali kaming masaktan. Konting bagay lang, nasasaktan na kami. Yung ulong nakalabas sa balat ng aming pagkatao, sapat na yon para sa isang kahihiyan. Para kaming mga walang saplot. Pero hinayaan namin yon. Masaket man, tiniis namin. Para daw di kami marungisan. Pero bawat sagi nito, kami'y kumikirot. Bawat ngipin. Bawat kuko. Lahat ng elemento, isinasagi niyo sa amin. Ipinapasok niyo kami sa madidilim na lugar. Mga lungga ng ihi, ng tae, ng dugo, ng tinga! Binababoy niyo kami."

"Andami mo palang hinanakit, bakit di ka magsaleta at i-voice out ang iyong hinaing." usisa ng Mangmang

"Dahel mahina ako. Titi lang ako. Makapangyarihan ngunit marupok." sagot ng Titi

Ang Titi.

Isang saleta na kung tutuusin binubuo lamang ng mga letra. Letra na walang malay sa binuo nitong saleta. Saletang iniiwasan. Saletang pinandidirihan. Saletang bastos. Saletang kanto. Saletang pwede bumuo ng pantasya. Pantasya na maherap burahin.

Ang Titi, ay isang responsibilidad na sa simula pa lamang, ay maherap panindigan. Maherap patayin. Lingid ito sa ating kapangyarihan, at ang tanging magagawa naten ay tanggapin.

Hinde natin maikukubli ang, Titi. Parte ito ng ating buhay. Ang Titi, ay buhay. Ang buhay, ay Titi.

Mabuhay ang Titi!

The Big Daddy In Me

One time, while exchanging private messages with someone that turns out to be a minor in G4M:

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Me: Ay bata ka palang pala! Pwede ka ba alagaan? Joke!! Name ko talaga Joms, magkasing edad kami ni Gyminstructor. Nagkita kami sa BED sa malate. Gusto mo magkaroon ng idea kung paano magestablish ng blog?

Him: yup opo...gus2 q po..ah ok sa malate pla un bk8 d q alam un..ikaw n mgging tatay q?joke din.. (Kiddietalk Translation: gusto ko po. ah sa malate pala yun. bakit di ko alam yun. Ikaw na magiging tatay ko?)

Me: Haha. pinatawa mo ko dun ah. Sige ampunin kita ha! lol. Wala kang pasok ngayon?



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It all started a week ago. While browsing the forums in G4M, I noticed a young-looking member who posted at random threads in order to bring them up of the forum lists.

At first, I wasn't paying attention to his posts. But when I found out that the young-looking PLU is actually one of my friend's aquaintances, I immediately opened his profile to review it in hopes that I could find something that could serve as my opening line, if ever I decide to send him a private message.

His face is indeed very young - he is cute but I never aim for kids. His introduction is way too simple, it doesn't interest me either. However, one of his half-naked pic showed an abs muscles that are so flat, it instantly caught my attention. Immediately, I sent him a message asking his secrets to a flat tummy.

The simple introduction about the tummy lead to another, He told me about his sad life, his school activities and some things about his weird personality. As we exchanged messages the entire afternoon, the thought of the kid who asked me to become his "Kuya" back in elementary floated in my head. As the young guy in G4M began called me "dada," I responded 'nak' to acknowledge our newfound "cyber" relationship . It was very awkward at first, but eventually the little role-playing convinced me that I could stand up as his "virtual" big daddy in that website. I'm sure that since he grew up without his parents around, a little fatherly concern from someone much older than him might actually help in overcoming the transition from young adulthood to being a full adult homo guy he is passing through.


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Him: dada elow po..ay naku dada fri ngaun..kahapon pumasok aq sa skul ng 4 eh 3:30 class q dada tpos po ndi n nman aq nakkuwi ngaun fri po eh ngaun lang aq nakauwi ng umaga...uu dada..ingat k po.. (Kiddietalk Translation: dad hello po, ay naku, friday ngayon. kahapon pumasok ako sa school ng 4 eh 3:30 class ko. tapos, ngayon na lang ako nakauwi ng dorm kasi nakitulog ako sa bahay ng classmate ko. ingat ka po.)

Me: Hi anak. Nako, madalas ata ang overnight mo sa ibang bahay ah. Basta ingat ka lagi ha at wag mo pabayaan ang school mo. Hug nga kita.. xox O siya, ako naman ang papasok sa school. Na-add na kita sa friendster ko ha. Have a nice weekend!

Him: SALAMAT PO DADA....WOW BAIT NMAN TLGA NG DADA Q..INGAT K PO SA PAGPASOK....CGE PO OPEN Q MUNA FWENZTER Q....KAW DIN PO DADA HAVE A NICW WIKEND... (Kiddietalk Translation: Salamat po dad. Wow bait naman talaga ng dad ko. Ingat ka po sa pagpasok. Sige po, open ko muna friendster ko. Kaw din, have a nice weekend.)


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Funny how things turned out days after we started role playing. I'm not even sure how it would affect my general outlook in life, now that I'm beginning to feel responsible to some PLU very much younger than me. I don't know either the long-term effect of my start-up presence in this young kid's life.

But one thing is for sure though. Ever since the kid and I started talking that way, I became more concerned to some of my girl-friends who are also single parents as well. For some very very weird reasons, I feel like acting a fatherhood dream, I might never become in this life time.

Pity those who throw their seeds, only to abandon them in the end.

I swear, just one little seed from me. Just one little boy I could call junior someday...

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SMS Message:

Me: [Name of Ex Girl Crush], make sure, moti is protected ha! Uso ang dengue ngayon.

Her: Yes dad! Ehehehe, u. Tanks 4 reminding. I'll check on hm as soon I get home. tc.

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I could be more than most fathers I know.

I could even be greater than the man who brought me into this world.