Wednesday, March 28, 2007

if time is God...


then...

we would all have our guardian angels on our wrists telling us He's always there with us all the time.

we would always be reminded of our 'waking hours' in those alarm clocks we put beside our beds every night, telling us He will always be there when we need Him.

He would be the bundy clock in the office so we would not be late, like we don't want to be late to hear the priest's sermon at a mass.

we would have all the our altars at home, called the clock, to remind us that He is at home, all the time.

that alarm sound on our mobile phones or computers would be His way of reminding us it's about time to look at Him and say 'thank you for reminding me.'

telling our age would not be a problem; it would only say how long we have been living with God.

that Big Ben in London (or the one in Manila's City Hall) would be the Londoner's (or Manileno's) patron saint.

that timer on your iPod (or Media Player) would tell you how long each Gospel song is.

that timer on Mr. Treadmill would be your guide to see those 'footprints in the sand.'

that even though we have our different names for our God (be it rolex, boucheron, patek, etcetera), we will always be telling the same Time.

that even though we live on different time zones, there is always 12 midnight and 12 noon on our watches and clocks.



(just a thought, just a thought...)


...and if Time exists, so does Space...

they cannot be separated.

duality. balance. yin-yang.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Heto! The Survey Said!

Filipinos have affection for social surveys the same way they have fondness for astrological predictions.

Surveys to them are present reality. Predictions are the inevitable future. There are no past to compare, because history itself is of no resonating value. (If it does I won’t be scribbling this. We won’t have Kris Aquino for a show!)

Surveys are like junk foods. You can actually live without it. Same is true to our politicians.


Note:

This is in response to the latest SWS Survey saying that Filipinos are hungrier than before. It reminded me of other survey saying the Filipinos have grown poorer.

Of course you are poorer; ten years ago you are single. You whimpering bitch! (Alright so you are a guy: Bastard!)

Also early morning yesterday, Arnold Clavio said in this morning magazine show, one time he went to a fishing village in Leyte. The children he carried in his arms weighs like the characters only found in weight watcher’s dreams. Given the season when fishes were scarce. Beside their mothers have mobile phones..

What the fuck is goin’ on here?
Asking for shoes when you got no feet.
To hell will all those surveys.

“Church of the Poor” of the Philippines

"Church of the Poor"

I saw this ad line in Guadalupe today; to me it is ostentation of charity.

Where are the poor? I don’t know. For sure they cannot be found in Catholic schools--institutions of learning of the “church people” (of the poor) exclusive only to the rich.

Are the poor created for the church then? And where the hell is the church for the rich anyway? I hope there is no temple for the super rich? Oh! Oh but I exactly know where is the church for the politician.

So why use “church of the poor” hah?

Hay putek bad thinking talaga naman oo!



Poverty is not educating oneself to become comfortable but unlearning “how to be deprived of satisfaction.” *

*Of course it is just me.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Old and Rusted

originally written - December 8, 2006 11:50pm


Pr_taxi_back

a while back, while in a cab to work
my friend patrick & i was texting:


pat: e kaw, kamusta naman dyan?
me: oki pa rin, toxic sa work as always
pat: ganun ba. e ang puso mo?
me: i dont have a heart, i just have a dick and a future to focus on, in life you can’t have everything


then after pressing send i started to slump on my seat
deep inside i felt very bad, my response seems to feel so real
for it was the first thought out of my mind…
sobbing inside, i got no more tears to shed…


i felt bad…. i felt hopeless…

Deluxe_3_tombstone

yesterday was my one of my bestfriend’s 1st year death anniversary
i was with my ex when we visited his grave lunchtime
a lot has happened to me this past year after his passing…


for one i got promoted, something that i can only dream of, 5 years ago
it’s a four year climb to the top and am very proud… am very happy…
happiness that now proved too short to remember.


they say the higher you go up, the lonelier it gets…Dsc_0392
true enough after a while, the usual stuff that made me happy
doesn’t seem enough anymore… i became restless and bold
i started experimenting, i started deviating,
now i can't recognize myself anymore...


maybe because i got no one…
the 3 most important guys in my life i cant reach...
1 died, 1 is busy, 1 is just miles away…
now i got no one else...


i was always on the watch out for the right one,
i pretended to be tough but deep inside i was cramming…
maybe because i know i need the right one to straighten out my life,
the right one before i become irreparable…


why is it everytime I get to meet someone I really like… The_broken_heart
everytime i decide to allow myself to fall…
everytime i decide to make myself vulnerable…
…something stupid always happens


maybe it’s karma… yeah maybe it is…
for i had my share of mess ups and shame…


contrary to what i texted patrick….
my heart is the most important and overused part of me
it has gone through tough times…
mangled, smudged, squeezed, ambushed, stressed,
burned, stabbed and left for dead
resuscitated, revived, restarted and rebooted a couple of times.

Brokenheartpictures5

now it has come to a point it can no longer take anymore shit
hardened with grief and pain but still beating with the last remaining hope
only good news is, its still got time for one more…
only one more…


life must go on, now am setting my heart aside…
resting, old and rusted…
but its still here… just waiting for its last user
the one with the correct login name and password…

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Sexy-Time

Initiating anti-libido protocol: workstation sequence override

1. Pause activity. breathe deep. think of nasty thoughts.

2. Do a kambyo... make sure to wash hands after.

3. If kambyo will not work, one needs a little gentle squeezing. make sure to wash hands after.

4. If squeezing doesn't work. Go to g4m. Harass the guys posting in the sex forums. Make sure to exude an image of a nasty hornydog.

5. Wait for a private message. Harass the guy who dares to send you a privy at this very tense moment. If possible, convince the prey to go online so you can harass him freely on IM.

6. If such possibility is not available, request the team leader to allow you to log on to the adult chat account. Vent frustrations at work.

7. If such option is not available. Pursue G4M harassment method. SONNET* optional. Manual and deliberate stroking strictly prohibited.

8. When critical threshold is imminent, log off from IM. Take a yosi break. Take a leak.

--

Ang buhay tigang... lahat pagtritripan.

*sonnet - sex on chat/net

Friday, March 16, 2007

Accident-free Highways

I've been asking this to a lot of my friends for some time now and one of them suggested that I post it online. Anyway, here goes.

Suppose you were a president of a nation (or monarch of a kingdom, or emperor/empress of an empire, wherever you live) Now, suppose, too, that a mage (I prefer sorcerers but "mage" was the first word that popped into my mind back then) approached you and offered you the following:

1. He will cast a spell that will affect your entire nation.
2. The effect of the spell is that it will prevent all vehicular accidents from ever occurring.
3. For an entire year's absence of accidents, there will be exactly one vehicular accident each year involving at most two vehicles.
4. In exchange for a "peaceful" year (motor accident-wise), the aforementioned annual accident will always result in the most morbid gruesome deaths for the people unfortunate enough to be involved in it. (Limbs thrown around, head, shoulders, knees and toes, you get the picture)

The question is, will you accept the offer? (Oh please, suspend your beliefs for the moment, the point is not the existence of actual mages or the effectiveness of spells) And as a side note, will it make any difference if your entire nation knew of your decision or not?

So far, almost everyone I knew refused the offer.

There was one inclined to accept the offer but, upon finding out that her decision will be broadcasted to the nation, she backed out and said never mind.

How about you guys? ^_^

Oh, by the way, the spell is only applicable to land vehicles.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

300 -- testosterone, gore, and more testosterone!





oh, oh, oh!

i nearly ejaculated (no pun intended, just the truth) when i saw this movie last night at Siam Paragon.

whoah! you should have seen me dropped my jaw in awe and libido upon seeing those ripped and hot hot HOT HOT hot hot Spartan warriors clad in those red-cape-and-leather-looking-trunks!

oh!

aside from the fact that the creators of Sin City (which, you all know, is infamous for its gory scenes) produced this film about the epic Battle of Thermopylae between the massively-war-trained mere-300 Spartans, led by Leonidas, against the massively-numbered Persians, led by Xerxes I, this film did a great job at making each scene in varying textures, colors and effects.

the scenes might have been too easy (well, for trained filmmakers, nonetheless) to shoot against a nice chroma in a state-of-the-art VFX studio, but they really made impressive, larger-larger-larger-than-larger-than-life effects and gory gory gory depiction of EACH kill.

you'll even enjoy how the director, zack snyder (who directed Dawn of the Dead in 2004) and writer kurt johnstad (truth or consequences), managed to throw in punchlines here and there, amidst all that gore of war and the ooooooooozing testosterone emanating from each hot-bodied hunk-of-all-meat Spartan warriors.

i wonder if no one ever turned gay if all the Spartan warriors were like that. well, they're ancient Greeks for one, so homosexuality would not have been a taboo, yeah? and im speaking on past tense, of course!

well, i guess the Spartan politicians were the the ones who turned out to be gay, because all they did was sit in the Council and watch their ripped warriors do the dirty job, while they wait in their fortresses for their hunky-meaty men to arrive from all those battles fresh with blood on their hands and massive shields, and give them a watm bath and all hahahaha.

wait...

how come i was able to consume a lot of space here just to tell you i nearly came with just watching 300?

har har har har har!

don't you all think it's time for you to see it, too?

shoot me if you'll not drool.

note: checkout for the actors who played Stelios (michael fassbender), Astinos (tom wisdom) and Xerxes (rodrigo santoro)

Thursday, March 8, 2007

framed by the neon lights

You don't look as if you get tired of breaking your heart over and over again.

Never once I've seen your soul severed. You've followed all the instructions of love, you've waited too long, and no tear was cried yet all your chances—none of them spared you from what should be a sincere devastation. I don't think it's funny to find you and myself in the same crossroad together.

You look at me as if you can read minds and tell me how you felt the same way for me; the only difference is that I have broken doors of steel, that I've have fight with time and drained my eyes.

I never like you in an instant though everyone said you're handsome most of the them find you disarming. I guess I'm not going to like you anyway.

You are sands in my palms and for another time I'll blame myself. This is my pathetic circumstance that I'm no good in evolving emotionally. I never like you but I never despise you. But now, I hate myself because of how I can speak how lovely you are tonight and I am attracted in glances you make but I believe the alcohol is taking the best of me.

Let's stay this way.

I know we've met and seen each other countless of times and still no names are exchange until now. Just the two strangers in the neon lights with expressionless faces that smile, laugh, frown, and occasional sigh.

(Between these silent spaces of our conversation we scour the room for traces that may belong to us and maybe will connect us as if we have known each other in some other time. Until we consciously realize we're staring in each other's eyes, exhausted and breathing deeply against each other's air. )

The night has grown darker and the people around responded well to the escalating temperature. But not for the two us, we may not be as innocent to look at but our hearts can be as unaffected it can be because there is much more of a strong force that unusually binds us everytime we are together across this crowded room. We suffer along and that is true coz these we're not lies and we are not living in lies.

And this is how we apply what we learn in life—to play the game and be insensitive at the same time…but I don't think I'll last any longer.


P.S.

Tomorrow is another night. I haven't drunk enough and so you are. I would surely like to know your name before we say goodnight this time.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

how cruel straight men can be



On a valentines day,


i was going to work early in the morning, sumakay me ng jeep sympre since maaga pa po, sympre medyo groggy pa ko nun


so un nga,


may ksabay me 2 effems which i think are about to go to work or maybe they just left their call center jobs


tapos sa tabi ko may 1 guy dun which i think is a straight one na nakaglasses and really looks decent, looks like superman,


i find him interesting to be honest


tapos maya mya, nagulat kami kc bumaba sya bigla ng jeep


tapos inikutan nya ung pwesto dun malapit sa effem, ung effem is malakas ang pakiramdan feeling daw nya may galit c guy sa kanya so he switched from one end of the jeep to another, nung pumunta sa kbila c effem, umikot uli c guy, nung sa kabila, umikot uli c guy, tlagang sinusundan nya c effem sympre lahat kami sa jeep nagtataka kung bkt, kabado c effem, buti na lang nag go na, umalis na ung jeep,


after ilang blocks medyo napunta kami sa intersection so un bglang all of a sudden c eyeglasses decent looking guy is in another jeep pla, bumaba sya sa kabilang jeep, tapos dire- diretso sya dun sa jeep na sinasakyan namin, effem was really confuse tlga


tapos kumuha ung guy ng bato, binato nya tlga c effem, buti na lang tinamaan sa blikat lang thing is wla naman ginagwa c effem kay guy, ni hindi nya nga tinitingnan c guy, ni hindi nya flinifilirt or anything so bkt nya binato c effem


nakita ng mga mmda ung nangyari at dhl medyo maaga, kadarating lang ng mga pulis sympre nagsisigaw c effem so medyo nagkagulo, hinabol c guy di sya nahabol but his eyes were really blazing sa galit kay effem ang weird, kc bakit nya binato ung effem, i mean kung nalalaswaan sya dun sa guy eh di sna mas ok pa kung verbal lang pero hindi eh may physical abuse

naawa me dun sa effem kc di naman nya kasalanan na maging effem sobrang rude and weird nung guy na un considering wla tlga sa itsura cguro may bad experience sya sa effems at nung nkita nya c effem eh naalala nya un, pero kht na di nya pa rin dpat ginwa un, its unreasonable


what ive learned about this experience?


looks can be really really deceiving!


tsk tsk! pakshet!


kung ikaw nsa place ni effem ano gagawin mo?


ako sa sobrang gulat, too bad, wla me nagawa, naawa me sa effem, he was innocent,


is this a sign of discrimination?


tsk tsk grabe tlga

kaya minsan mas ok pa na u stick with a bisexual who is in touch with his feminine side kesa sa str8 eh


at least dun mas malaki possibility na di ka nya sasaktan physically
although minsan di rin,
sympre pwde ka pa rin saktan physically or one way to another but thats extreme na


this is abuse, i wont trust looks alone tlga



hayyyyyyyyy!!!!!!


sna di na to maulit sa ibng tao whether gay bi effem girl boy tibo lesbo faggot butch etc etc

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

'mild' jolt from Jostein and Darwin


(note: this is the message i sent my friend darwin this morning)

choi,

thanks for that wonderful sharing about relating with parents. i have just finished a book last night from one of my favorite authors, Jostein Gaarder. the book is called The Orange Girl, which is about a dead dad's letter to his son (Georg) he made 11 years ago, a few days before the dad died.

the story tells of the love story of the dad and the Orange Girl, which happened to be Georg's Mom.

at the end of the story, Georg advises to get to know our parents more--specifically, their lives before they got married, and more importantly, how they got together.

i got teary-eyed with a lot of things Georg told me about relating with our parents, and i have realized there is not enough time to know a lot of people, and our parents, sometimes, are the least probable people we wanted to get to know.

thanks for that reminder, shall i say, a 'mild' jolt.

we pray for your aunt's wellness, if not faster recovery.

there's another very important thing the book taught me:

"there's a very special name for things that we don't expect to happen, they just do. this is called hope."

all in due time, God will put things into place.

have a great day!

top picks




i am not running out of sensible blogs. im just so into digging music here and there and i just thought 'why not vandalize our fab shrine with my current album picks?'

who knows, you might actually find these interesting that you'll start your limewire engine running!

(in no particular order):

1) Dreamgirls Soundtrack - Beyonce Knowles, Jennifer Hudson, Anika Noni Rose, Jamie Foxx, Eddie Murphy, Keith Robinson, Sharon Leal

2) How to Save a Life - The Fray

3) 30 Seconds to Mars - 30 Seconds to Mars

4) A Beautiful Lie - 30 Seconds to Mars

5) A Fever You Can't Sweat - Panic! at the Disco

6) Bleach Soundtrack - Orange Range, Asterisk, Yui, Ichirin no Hana, Rie Fu

7) Armani Exchange - Mixed by Peter Rauhofen

8) Art of War - Bone Thugs 'n Harmony

9) At Worst: The Best of Culture Club - Boy George and the Culture Club

10) B-Day - Beyonce Knowles

11) Blueprints for the Black Market - Anberlin

12) Continuum - John Mayer

13) St. Elsewhere - Gnarls Barkley

14) CrazySexyCool - TLC

15) Dante's Cove Soundtrack - Composed by Eric Allaman

16) Latter Days Soundtrack - Nitta Whitaker, Toad the Wet Sprocket, Rebecca Jordan, Bobby Joyner

17) Demon Days - Gorillaz

18) Destiny Fulfilled - Destiny's Child

19) The Duchess - Fergie

20) Final Straw - Snow Patrol

21) Grey's Anatomy Soundtrack - Psapp, Snow Patrol, The Cardigans, Lisa Loeb, Merrick, Coldplay, Faders, Ivy, Joe Purdy, Joshua Radin, Landon Pigg, Sylvie Lewis

22) Undiscovered - James Morrison

23) The Beack Soundtrack - All Saints, Orbit, Richard Ashcroft, Asian Dub Foundation, Sugar Ray, Leftfield

24) Honey Soundtrack - Shawn Desman, Jada Kiss, Yolanda Adams, Tweet, Aaliyah

25) In My Own Words - Ne-Yo

26) Loose - Nelly Furtado

27) November's Chopin - Jay Chou

28) Spiceworld - Spice Girls

29) Supermodel of the World - RuPaul

30) Tattoo Colour - Tattoo Colour

you say: 'how could he possibly listen to all those songs?'

time management, baby. multitasking. binging.

go get some life!

get a life. hear music.