Saturday, December 30, 2006

Rules Of Engagement

adopted from: www.phanksmaster.blogspot.com

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How do you get back at an asshole who flirts with your boyfriend 24/7?

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1. Get the guy's number from your buddy's phone.

2. Access Friendster. Steal a hunk's photo from the website.

3. Create a new account at G4M. Upload the stolen photo(s) of the guy from friendster. Write an interesting profile that would give an impression to readers that your character is very naughty yet leads a very productive life.

4. Include the mobile phone number of the boyfriend-flirter.

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1. Access MIRC in an internet cafe. Create an attention-grabbing chat handle such as "Tripper9" or "Hunktoploader". Ensure that the chat handle will adopt a very masculine persona in the chatroom.

2. Respond to every sexual ads within your area. Use the G4M account you have created to reinforce the market value of the chat handle you are representing in MIRC.

3. When the final details have been concluded between you and the chatter, use the boyfriend-flirter's number as contact information.

4. Log out from the chatroom. Repeat process number 1.

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1. Acquire all smut tabloids available in your friendly neighborhood newstand.

2. There is always a textmate's corner in those tabloids. Located at the bottom of the textbox are instructions on how to include your number in their list for the next newspaper issue. Text the number below and request that your number be added to their list.

3. Instead of using your number, use the boyfriend-flirter's mobile number for contact details.

4. Repeat process until you have exhausted all your efforts posting the boyfriend-flirter's number on all tabloids you want his number to appear.

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There are several channels in UHF/Cable that offers a service where you could post your number to seek "friends." If you're eyes are capable of reading very tiny neon colored advertisements, you can use this service to your shameless plans of getting back at boyfriend-flirter by posting his number there.

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Emphasize on the masculinity and aggressiveness of your character. Make him appear cool and confident in front of those interested to hook up with you. Focus your attention to persistent effems and parloristas who would surely bring nightmare to your boyfriend-flirter. Physical descriptions would have a multiplier effect, depending on how believable your descriptions would be.

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And always remember, revenge is ultra sweet especially if the target don't know what hit him.

Friday, December 29, 2006

The Guys' Rules

Originally from http://southdude.blogspot.com/

The Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules"
From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem . See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one ..

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1 You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

A Hopeless Romantic's Heart...



I was never this Hopeless Romantic until I saw this movie...
So much for waiting and having such Faith

Just when we think things in life are meant to happen just because it has to happen... Think twice… they are MEANT to happen… There is something in these things that happen to us that, in some way or another, will do something in us; perhaps, make us realize something apart from what we always have in mind or the other way around, something we are always clinging to…

This will be a time that you might me as pathetic as I can be… But I’m sharing my thoughts anyway… whether you like it or not…

It was a Wednesday, first week of classes, College Life… This is my last stay with my Segunda Alma Mater… So I’m putting so much effort and time to it… Unfortunately, there’s this ‘first week’ sickness hanging around the campus… Not all professors are coming to class yet, for all reasons whatsoever… my class is still up to 9 pm, but I decided to dismiss myself from the campus 5 pm… Thanks to the ‘sickness’… I wanted to go somewhere, spend time with myself, other than answering to people’s plea to having myself with them in times when they need someone to talk to…

I’ve been like that these past few years; here come a number of friends asking me for a ‘date’ so that we can talk about their problems personally... Love problems to be exact… And there I go, listening to them on a lunch with pastas and burgers and fries (not the fastfood things, I tell you... they are something other than that) with their emotions and frustrations and hurts and hopes and everything… With what I have said I never felt enough comfort, nor enough solace to sooth their aching hearts and battered souls... I just wanted to do something more… But I don’t know what and how to start… now I realize, being with those persons and listening to them IS enough, for a while I’ve helped them forget things, isn’t it?? But it seems they have found some other person to ‘date’ which I really find good, so that he will have other options and other company other that what I am and what I can and cannot do… added to the fact that their own problems even get to my mind and takes a loooooong time to disperse… sigh

So we’re back to that Wednesday, no ‘dates’ so I decided to date myself, treat something and perhaps listen to myself for once!!!! I went to a mall I QC (and my school is in paraƱaque, so imagine the travel killing me hehe) and then I saw this movie, Lake House who was just showing on the theaters for the first day… Oh, I have a crush on both the characters, Keannu Reeves and Sandra Bullock, (so much with ‘dual’ personality) so I decided to buy tickets for the last full show… I thought it was just another movie trip, but it proved me wrong…

I won’t be bragging so much about the story of the movie here, but as a whole… IT MOVED ME… I was able to learn so much about Love that transcends everything just for it to be felt and shared… It was so touching in the end of the story that I didn’t notice all these tears flowing down my cheek as I exit the movie house… All this time I was looking for the things I thought was just some wretched thinking… it all hit me… Living in FAITH was never been as true to me after watching this movie… Love that is willing to change everything, even the course of our fate, become as real as I never believed… Now I realized that being a part of these ‘dates’ made me a BIG part of these people’s lives... might as well saved them from something worse to happen, or have opened them to something their eye might have never seen before… The need for me to thrive in this planet have been more meaningful that to have something done… and that FAITH for that special moment to come was never been stronger before…

I’ve been single for some time already (and some = very looooooong) and waiting and looking is just getting somehow tiring, but when I think about that movie I watched, It just spawns new hope, greater faith and bolder meaning of LOVE… So to that someone I have never met yet, I want that person to know that I LOVE YOU… Time will let us cross our paths… And when I see you, even if time and GOD blocks our destinies from being with each other, I know LOVE will transcend from me to you, and yours to me as well… I have this faith stronger that the walls of Troy or the Great Wall of China of the Berlin Wall…. Nothing will stop me from loving you, wherever you are, whatever you might be doing, whoever you might be with and however life may take you…

I DO LOVE YOU…

Monday, December 11, 2006

Kuya


Minsan isang panahon, nakita ko ang sarili ko na nagbabasa ng isang libro sa loob ng library ng aming paaralan. Grade six ako noon, soloista at mahilig tumambay sa pagitan ng dalawang naglalakihang bookshelves kung saan walang nakakakitang tao sa akin. Isang tanghali, may mga lower grade pupils na nagtatakbuhan sa aisle kung saan ako malapit. Dahil naiistorbo nila ang pagbabasa ko ng encyclopedia noon, sinita ko sila para tumahimik. Nagpulasan ang mga bata at biglang tumahimik ang paligid. Ngunit may isa pala sa kanilang natira at nangahas na lumapit sa akin.

Hindi ko na matandaan kung ano ang mga tinanong niya sa akin. Hindi ko na rin maalala ang kanyang mukha, ang kanyang pangalan, o kung anong section siya nabibilang. Pero ang hindi ko makalimutang tinanong niya sa akin ay kung maari ba niya akong maging kuya... na madali ko namang pinaunlakan sapagkat gusto ko na rin siyang umalis sa tabi ko.

Natapos ang buong school year, ilang beses pa kaming nagkatama ng landas. Hindi ko matandaan ang kanyang mukha o ang kanyang pangalan pero sa harap ng kanyang mga kaklase, pinagmamalaki niya ako bilang kuya, kahit hindi niya alam na sa batch ko, isa ako sa mga looser at outcast noon, taas noo pa rin niya akong tinawag na kuya. Nang malapit na ang graduation, binalak ko siyang hanapin upang magpaalam at magpasalamat. Balak ko sanang ibigay sa kanya ang isa sa aking pinakatatagong Matchbox na kotche-kotchehan upang maalala man lang niya ako hanggang pagtanda.

Sa kasamaang palad hindi ko na siya nakita. Pero nakalipas na ang maraming panahon, natatandaan ko pa rin ang aming unang tagpuan.


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Twelve years had passed and I still remembered the boy. Probably, failing to say goodbye to him remained one of my greatest guilt, now that I am beginning to feel myself in his shoes. There were times, when things get really tough, I'd tell myself how I wish I had a big brother. If only there would be someone who could protect me when things are a little bit beyond my control, I think I would be the happiest man alive.

Lately, I get acquainted with guys older than me. One such example was Euphoria Boy, who I still see in the faces of many chinito guys that pass in front of me. There's also Papu, who I never fail to mention whenever I give gay101 lessons to newbies I chat with in PEx. The list of older guys goes on and on, and one thing that is common among all of them is that somehow, I get attracted or heavily attached to these guys I get acquainted with.

With the exception of Papu of course.

Mama would warn me that I should set an example as a big brother to my little sister since, she has this tendency to get attracted to older guys as well. I'm not sure of the reasons behind my sister's apparent preference for older guys. Probably, she was so attached to my dad when he was still alive that my sister still seeks him in the guys who comes along her way. I don't know, I just don't open this discussion with anyone... except here in my blog.

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When dad died last year, I became the man of the house. Believe me, such task demands contant vigil and utmost responsibility. There were nights you would suffer sleeplessness thinking about how would your family survive without you. Some nights, I would think about how would I earn bigger money so that I could stand on my own, without the sikyu agency's assistance.

Good thing, we have a lesbian driver to act as the brute force when I am not around. Together with her sidekick, an older guy who used to be my tutor and my mom's former student when I was still in high school, they serve as my mom's external hands and feet when she can't do the task she needs to do.

I admit, that in many situations I remain weak. I could be a potent force when I am part of the household but what if I am not around? What if the challenges are so impossible to resolve to the point I would feel helpless and alone as well? These are the things that constantly distracts my mind whenever I feel insecure...

And when I feel insecure, my usual escape is to imagine some kuya material dodging the projectiles which I could not take anymore.

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I remembered writing an entry about this same feelings not so long ago. But I also admitted in that entry that after looking for a big brother material all my life, I have realized that I became the kuya I am looking for. The apparent uniqueness of character I have; my desire to be ahead of a situation even before it happens and the way I became a man of the house says it all. I am no longer the happy-go-lucky person who's only concern is his own life and nothing more.

All those traits I've mentioned are the things I'm looking for in a man I would look up to. I think, after admitting that I found those traits in me, there is one single thing I am still looking for: the capability to steer one's own life according to his will.

So far I haven't done that yet.

These past few weeks, I have been exchanging private messages with two older guys in G4M. One is an accountant and a separated dad working in Mindanao and one is a businessman and a sports buff here in Manila. Both of them are deep, wild, chinito and top. Although I haven't met them yet, and as much as possible, I try to make our conversation more of a brotherly one. But lately, I have this inkling that I started having hots for them as well. Even in daydreams, I'd like to see myself under their enlightened guidance.

It seems like having a big brother or an older companion remains embedded deep in my psyche. It felt like the never ending search for someone stronger, wiser and wilder has once again awakened my sleeping thoughts about what if... I have a kuya? What if I'm not the one to be in charge all the time? And what if I have an older buddy as a lover, would things be easier?

Perhaps this is just a mere daydream aspiration created to artificially fill the void I am feeling...
and defend myself in times I can't stand on my own feet.

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In times like this, I remember the boy. How I wish I had been more enthusiastic to be his big brother, now that years after, I'd end up constantly seeking for one.

LAST TEENAGE *QUEER* SHOT

From day one of my blogging career (read: ever since I started blogging,) I’ve always made it a point to make a ‘birthday article’ to thank them many angels who’ve seen me flounder and fly not only for the year that has passed, but with my whole existence.

But this year, it’ll be brief and short.

Read my whole birthday article HERE

Sunday, December 10, 2006

TRIP 001 : In Bold and Stripe

You spotted a guy while waiting for a ride. You find him interesting so you looked at him and waited for him to look at you. Finally he looked and you tried to communicate. When his ride arrived he did not take it and he stayed. Again you see him looked at you in the corner of his eyes. But since you are in the street, you are not sure if he is likewise interested in you. What would be your next step?

Watch for my complete story at justforthetrip.blogspot.com

Friday, December 8, 2006

* Originally from http://southdude.blogspot.com

Shopping, buying groceries, or just wandering around the mall can give you lots of ideal subjects of desire. :-)
For example:


But we still have the ol' tradition of jeep guys:


And what stroke of luck to have my everyday bus crush sit near me AND having the opportunity to take his pic while he's sleeping like a baby!


I've posted before a bunch of kids for my midnight snack. One of them, wearing white, is back! YEAH! This time he's with a cute chinito kid!
Posted by Picasa

Thursday, December 7, 2006

Mint Poetry (Entrada Uno)

Untitled

Luntiang berdeng ilaw
tumatama sa aking katawan
sa dagat ng mga nilalang na hindi ko alam ang
planetang pinangalingan,
sa kabilang mundo kung saan
laman ang pinagkakaabalahan
sa nakakabinging sounds, kung saan
ako ay nagwawala
sa pagtama ng ating mga mata,
sa pagdaan ko sa harap mo,
sa pagpisil mo sa aking sentro
sa laplapang ginawa natin sa gitna
ng mga nagmamagandang tao
at sa muntikan mong pag-aya sa aking...

Pare ginising mo ako sa katotohanang
hindi basta basta simple yun.
Hindi man ako gwaping
o malakas ang dating.

pero
tangina
may karapatan pa rin akong
mamili ng aari sa akin.

9-21-2002

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

Last Full Show

After office na. May bagyo.
Gimik friday pa naman.
walang magawa. kabato! boring!

maaga pa. malling muna.
kapagod maglibot, wala naman pangshopping.
pag nagutom kain muna.

katamad na. uwi na lang.
umaambon pa, mukhang lalakas ang ulan.
kaya pa, last full show muna.

nakita ka, nakatayo sa sulok mukhang may inaabangan,
hayaan ko muna maaga pa para magwala.
nangalahati na palabas, pwede na.

nakita kang muli, andun ka pa rin nilapitan, nakikiramdam.
titigan, sulyapan. nakuha ko na ang atensyon,
alam ko na pakay pero katakot may lumilibot

tapang mo, nilabas ang sandata
natakot ako baka may makakita
panunukso, yung lang ang kaya ko.

natapos ang palabas, tinatanya kung iiwas
huminto ako nag abang
nilagpasan ng ikaw dumaan.

habol ng tingin, inoobserbahan
mabagal lakad mo, ako ba ang hinihintay?
di nagtagal lakad natin nagkasabay.

ngumiti ka, nagpakilala
konting kwento, isang tanong isang sagot
sinabi ko sa sarili ko hanggang labas lang to.

nagulat ako, nagyaya ka magkwentuhan muna
kahit sa may bangketa, sa waiting shed pwede na
nakilala kita, mabait ka naman pala.

di ko inakala sa itsura mo, 40 ka na pala
mukha kang bata sa kisig
ok lang, di halata nasa nagdadala lang yan.

pansin ko hinihimas mo kamay ko.
kung sa sinehan, madilim di ko kinaya
sa langsangan pa kaya

di ko plinano na humantong sa kung ano
malalim na gabi, malayo pa uuwian ko
palitan ng numero, asang magiging kaibigan.

nagpasalamat sa turing mo pagdating ng bahay
ngunit walang narinig hanggang kinabukasan
hangang sa muli na lang... sa sulok ng sinehan.

And His Name Was Euphoria

Because his, was such an extraordinary moment,
I have to write in order to free myself from the attachment.


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If there was nothing that I could say
Turned your back and you just walked away
Leaves me numb inside I think of you
Together is all I knew

- Chicane, No Ordinary Morning


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It was already dawn. The sun was beginning to rise in the east turning the black sky into indigo blue. The air was relatively humid despite the fact that I'm lying on a big bed, in a suite somewhere inside Shangri-la Edsa Plaza Hotel. It was a sight to behold, the wooden, ornate fixtures were stuffs I could only see when I'm daydreaming. I could just close my eyes and play Chicane's "No Ordinary Morning" again and again inside my head.


Beside me was him, the guy I danced with at Government the night before. We were both half-naked. Nothing happened so far since he was terribly tired and drunk after dancing for hours and hours at the bar, while I was just waiting for things to happen. I told myself never to be aggressive this time - since this act is something way beyond my moral values.

It was like I am in a dream. I am neither Pulsar nor my shadow friend Darkstar. I am beyond those personas I have created for myself. In fact, I think I was someone different, someone I wished to be. Someone I would like to be in the future. All night, he snored so loud that I wasn't able to sleep. Instead, I just contented myself hugging him and stroking his forehead and chest. After all, I think the reason he invited me in the first place is to have a companion, someone who would make him feel better. Sex, is just an extra perk.

Besides, after spending all these years being a follower to... I think I deserve to express this side of mine. It never happened before. Nobody has ever taken me to a plush suite in my entire life - except when my mother's sister would invite me to spend a vacation with her while she attends a conference in some faraway place away from home.

I guess this moment is something I would never have a chance to experience again.

When he woke up several hours later, he was in a rush. He said his colleagues would check him out anytime. So I asked him if I have to dress up already. He never said a word. Instead, I returned back to hugging him like someone unfamiliar yet so close to me. Soon, he put his arms around my head and started guiding me down...

...down to where the deed would surely have to happen.

---

The deed was done, and like the entire experience, it was something out of the ordinary. As it turns out, he was far more aggressive and dominant than what I have initially assumed. At first he thought that I am a top myself. But when I told him that I am not. It lead to something I rarely do nowadays. All that mattered to me was the experience - the moment. If Darkstar was driven by hate and pain and Pulsar is controlled by guilt and morality, this daydream persona never felt anything - only the lucidness of being somewhere between dreams and reality.

Before I left, we had a small talk. It happened because I showed him the entire contents of my pocket. He asked me why. I told him that since I am just a guest who slept over, might as well show him that I never took anything out, in case he might wonder. That small act of honesty which he appreciated lead to deeper conversations. Soon I was telling him about my life, my past and he told me a little about himself. He told me that he has a girlfriend; That I have confirmed he is a physician and that he is far older than what I have expected.

But his face and figure doesn't look like one.

He asked me what are my plans for the future. I told him that I am still in the process of figuring it out. Then he asked me if I am happy with my life. in which I said I am. Yet he replied that it appears that I am not. That his impression about me tells him that I am someone who likes to dwell in sadness, loves drama, and avoids the limelight. He told me that I am not happy and it shows, no matter how I try to hide it.

I kept smiling but the silence consumes me.

Because part of what he said was true.

He told me that the reason why he looks so young for his age is the fact that he thinks like a 13 year old; That he thinks of himself as handsome and appealing - which is true in many ways. He said that his secret in life is to be happy, whatever comes in his way. After all, happiness is what makes a person shine. Light mood makes a person content about himself.

We talked about a lot of things aside from that. I was even beginning to think that I was having a convesation with a philosopher who, after shagging me, freely gives his wisdom in return. He took my hands and brought me to the window. He showed me some bunch of trees at the back of the hotel and pointed at the lone Fire Tree that stands at the end of the pool. He said that the reason why the Fire Tree stands out among the rest is because it blooms with life. He then connected happiness with blooming and with life, which when I'm thinking right now, seems to have no connection at all. But whatever.

His last words were, " a happy person can appreciate such little difference like the beautiful fire tree and the rest of the non-blooming trees together with it, but only an extraordinary euphoric person could appreciate those non-blooming trees, more than the beautiful fire tree itself. So be happy always, don't clout your mind with negative thoughts."

And I remembered them word for word. No wonder he still fills my mind days after we met.

While we were talking, he gave me his number. I kept it, and he asked me to miss call him. But I told him that I am already low on battery and that I would just have to text him when I get home, which I did not do.

Tomorrow, he will about to leave for the south since he lives there all his life and whenever his thoughts surges in my mind, I am in constant turmoil whether to text him or not - just to say goodbye.

But our lives are meant to end this way, I know that. It was a daydream moment, and I want it to end that way, no matter how I wanted to hear from him again before he leaves. I just have to be happy that such moment with him ever happened...

So I hugged him tight for the very last time and told him how much I appreciate his company. This time, his aloofness was replaced by compassion. We never kissed, yet at that moment, I felt his soul closest to me.

I just hope that while in his slumber he felt mine closest to him while the song No Ordinary Morning plays on and on in my thoughts.

Sunday, December 3, 2006

Theory Of Bisexuality

Sigmund Freud's theory of bisexuality limits itself to birth. He says that we are all born bisexual, but during the early stages, we subconsciously decide whether we choose to lead the straight life or the gay life. He limits his bisexual theory to the earlier stages, but my theory is extended until death.

I believe that everyone is bisexual, but has been subconsciously repressed because we have been raised that it is wrong, and society dictates that heterosexuality is the norm. We have been conditioned to believe, by the media, even the church, that homosexuality is a crime, a SIN, and that it is to be avoided at all costs. And of course, monkey see, monkey do, we repress every homosexual tendency because we have been brainwashed by every reliable source that is a behavior that is considered not normal.

But first off, let us define homosexuality. It has been descibed, in laymen's terms, as a preference, both in the aspect of love and sex, to people of the same sex.

Sex is sex. We derive the same kind of sexual pleasure whether or not done with a man or a woman. Arousal lies on the nerves, and it can be stimulated by various things. The nerve does not choose what arouses it. On the subject of love, it is the same with sex. Love is an emotion that can be channeled to anyone we feel affection for. Do we choose who we love? We do not.

Society has been succesful in brainwashing us and instilling in our minds that homosexuality is wrong. But only if we are open to it, if we break free of society's ridiculous rules, and be more open-minded, then we would know that being with someone of the same sex is not that different.

Disclaimer: I am not promoting homosexuality.

For more of Kojimoto, Click Here.

The Miseducation Of Bisexuality

You must know I've been bored. So to pass time, I've been going through profiles in DowneLink (an online gay community similar to friendster). To tour DowneLink or to create an account, Click Here.

Anyway, it really irritated me to see that most of the Filipino guys there refuses to accept the fact that they're gay, calling themselves BISEXUAL instead. Bisexualism is the newest trend here in the metro, and sadly, it's a pathetic misnomer.

Bisexuality is an old term, probably coined by Freud (I forget), which refers to a preference to both the male and female gender. Yes, it's true that there are REAL bisexual men here in the Philippines, but most of the so-called "bi" here are really gay.

The bisexuals here are under the stupid belief that bisexuality depends on the discretion. In simple terms, they think you're bisexual if you're discreet, even if you're only attracted to people of the same sex. Now that is just STUPID.

Just because you're gay doesn't mean you're instantly effeminate. Being gay means you're only attracted to guys. You're not bi because you're macho. Grow up.

Goodness, I need to fill up my weekdays as well.

If you want more of Kojimoto, Click Here.

Hey you guys must be thinking I'm this pessimistic piece of shit who has nothing to do but hate on other people. This is absolutely untrue. Go to my blog and see my more happier moments in life. :D

What I Hate: If That Makes Me A Bitch, Fine.

These are just some things that I absolutely: hate, abhor, despise, detest, loathe, dislike, and resent when it comes to online networks, a place where gay men can get dates, fuck buddies, friends, or boyfriends. Examples of these sites include: Downelink, Fabuloush, Connexion, G4M, and DList.

1. Most of these sites require you to have a message before you can add guys, or in G4M's case, before you can contact them. What irritates me about this is that most guys usually only have a hello, or hi as a message. It is really irritating, because it's them who wants to talk to you, but you are obligated to formally begin the conversation.

2. "Can we be friends?" - this is usually the pick up line next to the generic hi or hello. That is an OUTRIGHT LIE. They click a picture in the Friends List not because the words I'M FRIENDLY is stamped onto the man's face. It's because they are attracted to that person. Why lie? If you wanna have sex with that person, just say it. The worse that the person could say is no.

3. In relation to #2, it also pisses me off that they ask if they could be friends with me, and I would say yes. I am very open hearted person, and I welcome anyone who wants to be friends with me. And then suddenly, out of nowhere, they ask if I'm top or bottom. If you do wanna be friends, and just friends, why ask my position when it comes to sex?

4. I've seen this in a bulletin, and I wholeheartedly agree. Most networking sites require photos and you have the option of posting captions with it. And it irks me the way guys would put, "Ugh, I'm fat." or "Aren't i ugly?". If that's what you really think of that picture, why would you post it in the first place? You're just fishing for compliments. Whenever a guy would tell me that, I'd be like, yeah, you do look fat. Don't force a compliment out of me because I WON'T.

5. Lying. Lying in the sense that you use other people's pictures or you basically lie about yourself. The problem is, what if the guy wants to meet you? And you're not the person in the picture? Yes, you might be thinking, I could always cancel, but what if you really like that person? You lie about your lie, and you continuously have to be dishonest until you are a pathetic chain of lies. And that makes you pathetic.

6. Yes, it's true that most men are horny, and SEBs (Sex Eyeball - where you meet for sex; hook ups), are natural in the gay community. But it's not right to generalize gay men. I find it rude that guys use "you have a place?" or "you top or bottom?" as their opening statements. I applaud them for their honesty, but they should have at least have the decency of asking first if I want sex. Because, I DON'T. Do I look like a whore? I know my worth, and if you want sex, get one of those dirty sluts in Quezon Ave.

I am not uptight. Ask my friends, or anyone who knows me for that matter, and ask me what my personality is. I am a very spontaneous fun loving devil may care person, but I know my worth, and I am not afraid to let everyone know that. I do not like liars. If you want me, go straight to the point. My time is precious, so don't you ever waste it!

If being a bitch means knowing what I want and never settling for anything less, then I'm proud to say I'm a bitch.

If you want more of Kojimoto, Click Here.

What a sexist pig!




‘Don we now our gay apparel’
By Isagani Cruz
Inquirer

Last updated 02:14am (Mla time) 08/12/2006
Published on Page A10 of the August 12, 2006 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer


HOMOSEXUALS before were mocked and derided, but now they are regarded with new-found respect and, in many cases, even treated as celebrities. Only recently, the more impressionable among our people wildly welcomed a group of entertainers whose main proud advertisement was that they were “queer.” It seems that the present society has developed a new sense of values that have rejected our religious people’s traditional ideas of propriety and morality on the pretext of being “modern” and “broad-minded.”

The observations I will here make against homosexuals in general do not include the members of their group who have conducted themselves decorously, with proper regard not only for their own persons but also for the gay population in general. A number of our local couturiers, to take but one example, are less than manly but they have behaved in a reserved and discreet manner unlike the vulgar members of the gay community who have degraded and scandalized it. I offer abject apologies to those blameless people I may unintentionally include in my not inclusive criticisms. They have my admiration and respect.

The change in the popular attitude toward homosexuals is not particular to the Philippines. It has become an international trend even in the so-called sophisticated regions with more liberal concepts than in our comparatively conservative society. Gay marriages have been legally recognized in a number of European countries and in some parts of the United States. Queer people -- that’s the sarcastic term for them -- have come out of the closet where before they carefully concealed their condition. The permissive belief now is that homosexuals belong to a separate third sex with equal rights as male and female persons instead of just an illicit in-between gender that is neither here nor there.

When I was studying in the Legarda Elementary School in Manila during the last 1930s, the big student population had only one, just one, homosexual. His name was Jose but we all called him Josefa. He was a quiet and friendly boy whom everybody liked to josh but not offensively. In the whole district of Sampaloc where I lived, there was only one homosexual who roamed the streets peddling “kalamay” and “puto” and other treats for snacks. He provided diversion to his genial customers and did not mind their familiar amiable teasing. I think he actually enjoyed being a “binabae” [effeminate].

The change came, I think, when an association of homos dirtied the beautiful tradition of the Santa Cruz de Mayo by parading their kind as the “sagalas” instead of the comely young maidens who should have been chosen to grace the procession. Instead of being outraged by the blasphemy, the watchers were amused and, I suppose, indirectly encouraged the fairies to project themselves. It must have been then that they realized that they were what they were, whether they liked it or not, and that the time for hiding their condition was over.
Now homosexuals are everywhere, coming at first in timorous and eventually alarming and audacious number. Beauty salons now are served mostly by gay attendants including effeminate bearded hairdressers to whom male barbers have lost many of their macho customers. Local shows have their share of “siyoke” [gay men], including actors like the one rejected by a beautiful wife in favor of a more masculine if less handsome partner. And, of course, there are lady-like directors who are probably the reason why every movie and TV drama must have the off-color “bading” [gay] or two to cheapen the proceedings.

And the schools are now fertile ground for the gay invasion. Walking along the University belt one day, I passed by a group of boys chattering among themselves, with one of them exclaiming seriously, “Aalis na ako. Magpapasuso pa ako!” [“I’m leaving. I still have to breastfeed!”] That pansy would have been mauled in the school where my five sons (all machos) studied during the ’70s when all the students were certifiably masculine. Now many of its pupils are gay, and I don’t mean happy. I suppose they have been influenced by such shows as “Brokeback Mountain,” our own “Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros” (both of which won awards), “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” and that talk program of Ellen Degeneres, an admitted lesbian.

Is our population getting to be predominantly pansy? Must we allow homosexuality to march unobstructed until we are converted into a nation of sexless persons without the virility of males and the grace of females but only an insipid mix of these diluted virtues? Let us be warned against the gay population, which is per se a compromise between the strong and the weak and therefore only somewhat and not the absolute of either of the two qualities. Be alert lest the Philippine flag be made of delicate lace and adorned with embroidered frills.

Saturday, December 2, 2006

Coming out in the open


I was on the phone last night with a friend who just found out I was gay (and with a partner at that!). My other friend Charity (who sort of promised not to tell anyone) apparently spilled the beans after downing a few glasses of alcohol. It was just my luck that I happened to text her in the middle of her alcoholic disillusionment. I'm not exactly mad, but I suppose I was a bit disappointed because I prefer to see the reactions on my friends' faces when I come out to them. I would have loved to tell Illana myself, except that I haven't seen her in the longest time. But since the cat is out of the bag, I had no choice but to laugh.

So anyway, she said "hindi bagay sa yo" and I assume that she pertains to the idea of me being gay. For all intents and purposes, I look straight to the rest of the world. "Matonic," even. I suppose one would need to have a really fine tuned gaydar installed to detect that my blood is green. I rarely do eye contact with strangers (suplado ang dating), and never go to "gay" places, which probably explains why I haven't hooked up with anyone in a public place. This little detail about me would probably be my downfall as a gay guy, if it were not for the fact that a lot of men prefer "straight acting, matonic" guys over effems. And yeah, I'm already with someone.

Going back to the reason why I'm writing this blog in the first place, I continue to be amazed at the ignorance of people when it comes to the topic of homosexuality. I would think that people would be better informed at this day and age, but we end up sticking to traditions and stereotypes. It is due to this ignorance (or denial?) that people get hurt and disappointed. Delusional college girls fall for the "perfect guy" who in truth, is also interested in another "perfect guy." Ladies who dream of having the perfect wedding get dumped when reality sets in. Gay men who want to be better accepted by society end up marrying their best friends, who they cheat on in the end.

It would be great if we can all fit into a certain category to avoid confusion, if all gay guys could be easily identified because we all act in a certain way. But this is not how it is, and we are all diverse despite all our similarities. It's so confusing, in fact, that we see "males" in the female rest rooms, and vice versa.

I would punch anybody who says I should act a certain way, in a "gay way," so they won't end up confused. This is me, this is how I am, and I am not in the business of pretending to be something that I am not. Sorry ka na lang if you end up being hurt because of your stupidity.

Lessons From G4M (Pamphlet Number Two)

kurapik: kelan tayo meet? kakayanin ko na titi mo

mugen: not interested dude.


kurapik: magaling naman ako chumupa ah (I would have answered. "Mas magaling at mas masara ako tsumupa sayo parekoy," just to insult him but to avoid making things more intricate...)

mugen: pasensya na po. sana nagbabasa ka ng profile kasi hindi naman ako pang sex eh.

kurapik: oo nga pala di pala ikaw un.. wrong send.hehe sowee...

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When will they ever learn?

Before, I get pissed off whenever I would send a friendly private message (peksman!) to a guy that interest me, only to be ignored in the end. It makes me less of a person, really. But now that I'm getting more views and messages (which tend to turn me off sometimes) in that website, I'm beginning to get the drift as to why some guys prefer to ignore guys who appear quite desperate for attention in G4M.

Take for example one time, A stocky guy sent me a message asking for a hook-up three times in just one week. Fuck ko daw siya sabi niya. Three times I ignored his message because I found his desperation too pathetic. Even if I'm single, I wouldn't take his offer.

As a rule, never get too aggressive to a guy, especially if he appears more physically superior to you. Always remember that gym buff, masculine guys (who prefer posting their chest, abs and torso instead of a regular face pic) won't stoop down to the level of being the one to ask favors. At the same time, straight acting homos would prefer the indirect approach when seeking a hook up. That leaves the effems (mostly) and the kids (mostly rin) to the job of seeking partners, especially if they belong to the lower heirarchy of PLUs in the website.

Examples of a good and a bad opening line:

Gymgoer guy to a buff guy: "Dude ganda naman ng chest mo, gaano mo katagal dinevelop yan?" (chances are, the buff guy would be flattered. Obviously, the message conveyed a friendly tone, despite having some possible hidden agenda behind the senders motive.)

Regular guy to another regular guy: "Nice profile men! I share your sentiments." (another good approach. Take note: both guys should have equal looks, or at least compliments what both guys are looking for. If one appears physically inferior, the lower the chances of recieving a reply)

A guy with an effem-looking/lanky pic to a regular naked guy: "Sexy naman poh ng body mo. Care for SEB here's my number 0917 xxxx, and ym purpleazureemeraldsky@yahoo.com" (ultimate turn off dude, especially if the regular naked guy prefers discreet average guys. Never give your personal details in your opening message) Another variety would be something like this: "You make me horny bro. Password pls." (You're too fast. Make sure you have an equally interesting pic to match his.)

Naked regular guy to another naked regular guy no face pics included: "Pare san ang area mo? Astig ng profile mo/Trip kita." (straight to the point, without the mention of any direct, aggressive sexual motive whatsoever. Based on experience, many masculine guys talk this way in G4M)

Two goody-goody guys discovering that they found the same interest in one of the forums: "Ei! Naglalaro ka rin pala ng DOTA/Red Alert/Need For Speed/ etc. etc. Minsan one on one tayo." (same interest will almost always lead to a good conversation. It depends however where would the conversation lead to.) or "Ay gusto mo rin pala si Mariah at si Madonna! Soundtripping tayo dito sa bahay minsan"

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I really don't know how other people conduct their business in G4M. But based from my two profiles - one real one and one alterprofile using a very hot guy's pic, I get an idea as to how guys communicate to one another. If there are four basic important lessons a PLU must always remember when establishing contacts with other guys in that website, these are;

1. A guy must read a person's profile - status, sexual preference, and other important notes no matter how long or dramatic or psychotic the profile may be.

2. If a guy could not stand up with his looks, a good, friendly and positive attitude would do.

3. If you really want to meet serious and friendly guys, avoid the sexual forums at all cost.

4. There is such a rule that says... "pumantay ka sa katapat mo." If you think he is a god, it would be wise to resort to a demi-god instead.

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Too bad, the guy who sent me the message above would never get to read this little entry. Badtrip kasi eh, instead of just quietly boywatching some guys in that website, ganun pa ang marerecieve ko. I wonder, is he able to succeed in hooking up with guys at all? Anyhow, I would continue observing the habits and attitudes of guys over there. At least, I get to see first hand - even if its just a little piece of the action, of how the art of hooking up with a stranger begins.